When Dates Accelerate: The Real Power Isn't Slowing Them Down—It's Speaking Your Truth

You're swiping right, exchanging messages, and suddenly—bam—they're pushing for sex or commitment after two dates, or planning weekend getaways before you've shared a second coffee. That question hits your inbox or therapy session: What should I do if they're moving too fast? As a woman over 30, a trailblazing executive or leader with kick-ass kids, a home you've built, and a career that's thriving, you've navigated divorces, poured into self-healing through therapy and recovery groups, and now? You're ready for that spiritual, healthy, joyful partnership. But this rush triggers that hummingbird chest anxiety, the overthinking spiral, the fear of repeating patterns with unhealthy types who erode your trust.

Here's the easy answer that every dating blog tosses out: Speak up. Tell them, "This feels a bit fast for me—let's take it slower." Simple, right? But the hard truth—the one that transforms overwhelm into empowerment—is speaking up and following through. It's not just voicing your boundary; it's holding it firm, observing their response like a litmus test for emotional safety. Speaking up becomes your clarity activator: How do they handle your voice? Is it acknowledged, seen, heard, understood—even loved? Or do they gaslight, push back, or dismiss? In that moment, you uncover if they're truly safe for your heart, or another cosmic lesson in disguise.

This reframes everything. The real question isn't about managing their pace—it's why is speaking up so damn hard for you? That resistance? It's your wounded parts whispering doubts: "If I speak, I'll lose them." "My needs aren't worthy." Born from past traumas, body image insecurities, or attracting duplicitous partners who made self-abandonment feel like love. Challenging the belief that "good connections mean going with the flow" creates curiosity: What if enforcing your pace attracts the aligned ones? It's disruptive because it flips the script—stop adapting to them; make them adapt to your healed self.

Imagine dating without that fear of being "too much" or "not enough." Where speaking up isn't a battle but a natural filter, weeding out the unsafe while magnetizing the spiritual, connected partner you dream of. Take Jenna, a 41-year-old single mom and corporate powerhouse, 1.5 years post her traumatic divorce. She'd rebuilt her life—focusing on her three kids, therapy for the overthinking, spiritual practices for depth—but dating? She'd attract rushers who mirrored her old patterns, leaving her questioning: "Why do I allow this? Is it my desire to be loved, or unhealed ties to my parents?" Speaking up felt impossible until she healed those roots: Aligning her nervous system from constant anxiety, setting boundaries that protected her energy, trusting her intuition to follow through. Now? She's enjoying the ride, confident in her body, no longer stuck in fear or shame—dating with playful curiosity.

As Jenna learned, if sticking to your word feels like climbing Everest, that's your work. Heal the parts that self-sacrifice for connection, rewire the overdrive from caretaking and trauma, peel back layers to like yourself deeper. Suddenly, "too fast" becomes a gift—a chance to practice discernment, walk away from red flags, and emerge magnetic to true love.

Clients who've embraced this echo the shift. One shared: "Anxious constantly on dates, I'd let things rush to avoid conflict. With Lilli, I learned to speak up and hold firm—now I trust myself to stay safe, feeling playful and joyful in dating. It's a major progress in boundaries and worth." Another reflected: "Post-divorce, rushes crippled me. Lilli unraveled my tangles—finding forgiveness and grace. At 49, I'm authentic and confident like never before. This healing is life-changing."

This isn't the fluffy advice peddling "communication tips." It's root-level disruption: No pace adjustment will feel secure until you heal the voice-silencing wounds. Controversial? Yes—because it demands you prioritize self over speed, challenging the rom-com myth of instant chemistry. Yet, that's what positions women like you—smart, together, with great jobs and families—as authorities in your own love stories.

Blending spiritual depth, nervous system healing, and boundary mastery, I've guided countless women through this transcendence, turning dating from stressful to joyful. You're not just slowing dates—you're accelerating your path to the partnership that enriches your life.

Ready to speak up, follow through, and up-level? ASCENSION: Up-Level Your Love Life is tailored for women over 30—executives, single moms post-divorce—committed to deep healing for that magnetic, spiritual love. Exclusive spots ensure transformative focus; they fill quarterly, so scarcity is real.